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Current Music:ffxi music >.>;
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Subject:just because it's been a long time...
Time:01:35 am
Current Mood:blahblah
and because i can - got this from docbrite...

SIX NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Lisa
2. Lee(or Li or something which sounds like Lee?)
3. Lisita
4. Tsu (game related, character name)
5. ...
6. ...

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Zipper Hoodie
2. Siouxsie and the Banshees t-shirt
3. Cat-eye Glasses o.0

THREE THINGS YOU WANT VERY BADLY AT THE MOMENT
1. New shoes.
2. to make some money doing what i love (:P but who doesn't)
3. to sell some stuff that's been lying around for a while.

THREE THINGS YOU DID LAST NIGHT
1. played ffxi
2. Sang LOUDLY along with City and Colour
3. Worked ><;

THREE PEOPLE YOU LAST TALKED TO ON THE PHONE:
1. My Mom
2. Ryan
3. one of my managers.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DO TOMORROW:
1. Band practice (or just me, vocal work)
2. take a walk, if it isn't cold and/or wet
3. be lazy after that (ie: play ffxi or watch a movie or something else)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. Diet Dr Pepper
2. Odwalla Mango Tango
3. Tea of many various flavors

THREE THINGS THAT MADE YOU SMILE TODAY:
1. a very kind customer who laid on some heavy compliments
2. someone suggesting we hit people who steal upside their head with a baseball bat
3. the warm sunny day (after it snowed last week!)
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Current Music:The Cure - Cut Here
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Subject:been a while
Time:04:42 am
Current Mood:boredbored
ok this is just because i dont like to post these on myspace. also i havent used this in years.

i posted this same thing when i moved here about 7 years ago (will be 7 in april)

there are some changes-

10 Bands You Have Seen Live____
1. Soultorn
2. Bella Morte 4 times
3. The Mission UK
4. Vnv Nation
5. L7 3 times
6. Pigface
7. Ministry
8. The Smashing Pumkins on their very last tour
9. Nevermore
10. The Genitorturers

09 Things You're Looking Forward To____
1. Going to Vegas to visit with my parents when they go
2. eventually seeing home again - its been a while
3. heather's next visit
4. my next days off
5. the pay check i never see (i'm reaching for things to fill this in)
6. going out... basically to anywhere, but work.
7. twilight on dvd
8. midnight sun
9. lunch tomorrow, i don't know why.

08 Things You Wear Daily____
1. hair tie lol.
2. fuzzy slippers
3. skirt/pants
4. bra
5. rings
6. necklace
7. glasses
8. robe

07 Things That Annoy You____
1. arguing with ryan
2. being lonely all the time
3. not getting out.
4. missing home
5. stupid customers at work
6. pot heads
7. drunks

06 Things You Touch Every Day____
1. keyboard
2. mouse
3. microwave
4. headphones
5. bed
6. ryan

05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over_(not the ones i like the most)___
1. rocky horror picture show...
2. better off dead
3. cry baby
4. addams family
5. batman returns

04 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With____
1. heather
2. christina
3. mom
4. dad

03 Girls/Boys You have Kissed____
1. ryan m.
2. brandon c.
3. roy m.

02 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment____
1. The Killers - Who Let You Go
2. Christian Death - Spiritual Cramp

01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With____
1. ryan
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Subject:last post
Time:11:45 pm
damn, what was i thinking there... i really should stop posting when im pmsing. lol. damn... im like a different person every time it happens. oh well.
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Subject:hmm
Time:11:36 am
so much going on in my head right now. yes i still have this... not that i use it much. but i have to vent something. about a week or so ago, i got a messege from brandon declairing that he still is in love with me. its a fucked up thing he's doing to me. i care. everyone i have ever loved at any time, i still love...if i truely did love them. so this... is really hard on me. i got pressure from friends and ryan just to drop brandon square on his ass, say goodbye permanently, block him and get on with things. so i did. but now that little voice in my head says "what about brandon's feelings?". i mean, theres nothing i can salvage. i imagine he is very mad at me, i suppose i did some leading to it. i didnt think it would come to that. i was being friendly and i suppose a bit flirty, and i guess it was a mistake. i feel like i may have lead him to that. my catholic guilt is eating me up. im sure he's mad now, thats how takes thing.. angry and sad, rejected... but he has done this before and i have been on the reciving end of so much pain. he comes and he goes and i guess since im in california he thinks theres a chance to try again. this is not so. i dont imagine ryan will let me ever leave, not that i would want to. yes visit, yes be friends, yes talk from time to time... but nothing else. i bet he could have been friends with ryan, they may have liked eachother... maybe. i dunno. its a pipe dream, and a weak hope. never the less i care that he may be hurting. i guess i just have to try my best to forget him all over again...
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Current Music:!?!??
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Time:08:34 pm
Current Mood:annoyedannoyed
so yeah. i got a chair for my computer today *exciting* (ha!)

yep. nothing going on here.

im so sad and bored.

i miss my texas friends

just wanted everyone to know that

yep thats all for now. perhaps i'll have more to say next time!
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Time:09:40 am
Current Mood:cynicalcynical
things have been happening recently. the worlds spinning out of my control. on dec 10th my grandmother (mom's mom) passed away. basicly old age... i've spent the last few weeks kind of stewing in my own thoughts about it. i am still now worried about my mom and what she will do with herself now. she had dedicated all of her time, since she retired, to me assuring the highest amount of comfort for my grandmother at her rest home. she wont know what to do with herself now, i mean aside from baby sitting my nephews. but the woman needs a break. as far as my grandmother, well, i loved her, she had a big hand in raising my sister and i. she was an ingenious and loving woman. alzhiemers came and took her mind, she didnt know me when i was last there, but i am glad she held out through that, it would be the last time i see her. she looked agonized. now she may finaly rest.

its been hard enough the relax myself enough to say that. but now... my mom and dad have made a trip to tennessee... but just before they left, a call was recieved, my dad.s mother (who is suffering from cancer, and was just on her "make a wish foundation"-style trip to disney world in florida) became suddenly very ill and might not even make it back to tennessee. you can imagine what that means to us. they called yesterday and left me some phone number to call, but im not sure if its right because that illiterate fool phil wrote it down and he always reverses some of the numbers. every time. (callin out to annie, if you have the number, messege me please... if you ever see this)... this is killing me, that i cant be in either place.

lastly, ryan has been ousted from ATBAB. rob & jake particularly felt he wasnt "pulling his own weight" in the band... they felt he sould have been breaking his back promoting this band since he is the only one with and internet connection. well guess what guys, he never cared about this band. its not his project. he was just going to show up, sing , and leave. every time. and yes he missed practices, because you'd all show up whenever the whim hit you, and he was always at work, and why? because you never planned it with him. well good riddance. i was getting sick of the noise. and booting him, boots me too, no website, ever. no logo, nothing. dont ask me.

in the mean time, ryan is planning on re-awakening his 'project'. its for the better.
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Subject:just because
Time:12:35 am
1. Name someone with the same birthday as you? Victoria... (someone i went to school with)

2. Where was your first kiss? 15

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? no.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? maybe once..

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? many times with choir, karaokee and a solo choir final... fun

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? eyes/hair

7. What really turns you on? that's a secret.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? pepermint mocha frapp, or caramel machiatto

9. What is your biggest mistake? hmm... i'll pass.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? nothing serious.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. i like cheese?

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Patricia Morrison.. at least in pictures... i try to see it... but...

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? on occasion... go teen titans!

14. Did you have braces? Yes.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Wish I was taller...

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? hmm, most recently it was "its cold here, maybe thats just because you arent here. its hard to sleep at night, i toss and turn, sleep on your side some nights then my side others..."

17. When do you know it's love? even after they have left the room, i can still smell/feel/hear them... they stay with me like a lingering taste in my mouth, a cloud of smoke in the air... the world isnt right for me without their magic in my life.

18. Do you speak any other languages? tiny snip-its of spanish, german and itallian.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? bright lights? on my skin?!? never!

20. What magazines do you read? eh, i dont typically... if i had a choice: gothic beauty, in style, figure... i like the straddle the fence.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? no.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? not really.

23. Do you watch mtv? maybe when i was 15.

24. What's something that really annoys you? appologising too much, talking about pointless things that dont interest me, pretending to be my friend.

25. What's something you really like?

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? i did, loved his moonwalker movie.

27. Can you dance? i try.

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? i make it to 5pm the next day usually before i colapse

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? broke my right leg when i was 11, most terrifying experience ever... i wasn't even that worried about my leg. it was the ambulance, with the bottles & needles rattling against the cabinets as it shook and rummbled over potholes, that scared me.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? sometimes.
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Current Music:tv murmuring in the background
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Subject:homeward
Time:11:34 pm
Current Mood:calmcalm
well, i've come to the end of my adventure...

got a lot done... hit lane bryant twice, some of my finds will be christmas presents; got to see la cantera, went to ingram; saw two movies "ice harvest" and "walk the line" (both were good movies, both were also free...); hit atomix and sanctuary; saw two concerts, the rev. then later provision/system syn/shiny toy guns...

i realized while at sanctuary that i missed the clubs so very much... i miss dancing, and my friends, though few they were (another realization)... im ready to go back now. ryan misses me as well, when last we talked he said "its cold here, or maybe thats because you arent here"... it made me smile.

farewell.
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Current Music:my dad's rythmic snores...
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Subject:home again
Time:12:47 am
Current Mood:calmcalm
im in san antonio now, for anyone else who doesnt know. i have been here since the 16th, just slacking on posting here since its up everywhere else. i'll be here til the 29th i believe, i wont know until the tix are bought. made this trip in two one-way tix. so yeah. there ya go, im here.

on the 17th anne & niel took me to see the reverend horton heat. i agreed more for them, than for me. niel's buddy mikey was there, he's an alright guy. reall computer smart, working and going to school for some computer degree. i was affraid to talk to him right away, i remember being a fool when i met him, and i think it ruined me to him for a long time. my anne and niel seemed to think i had some big fictional crush on him, which is bs. sure i flirted, but only as badly as anne did as well. so yeah, anyway... anne and niel were...well handing on to eachother... it was almost nasty to see. mikey slinked off to the back, he didnt like all the loud music so much... he prefered the bar (and a few beers)... so i sat back with him alot of the time and chatted. im sure this perpetuated whatever anne thinks about what i think of him. whatever. just because i like my guys tall, slender and somewhat nerdy looking, doesnt mean i was in love with mikey. he rejected my flirtations way back when anyway. i mean, im the "little sister" of his best friend's wife. i dont count. thats ok... no problem now. it was nice to have someone to talk intelligently to.
the next day i went off to see christine for a little bit... she had her kids so we couldnt do much or move very fast... no problem, it was good to see them and her as well. i missed her, theres no other person in this world that could be her, replace her, anything. we later picked up her hubby, richard, got dinner, rented a movie called "Heights"... it was interesting, but hard to follow with little kids running about crying and screaming. argh. oh well, i hope to see her sometime, sans-youngins'...
saturday, went to Atomix, met up with sergio & martin... i missed these guys. i love my old club buddies, its strange the relationship i have with them, i suppose they replaced my "school" friends...
i didnt do much today... stayed in, went to lunch with everyone, came home and watched my nephew play in the leaves... my dad BBQ'ed dinner...shrimp shishkabobs...good stuff.. though i missed the PBDC show tonight, i wanted to see them. i'll have more time to go out this week.

other than that... i've been having a slight mental crisis... i've been dreaming some recently of my first love. i'll not name any names. its been maybe once or twice a month every few months since i left home... i wonder what my head is saying to me... these dreams have gotten more frequent since my arrival here... today i found him on myspace... hmm... married it says... i hope the girl knows just how lucky she is. he's a great guy. this will help my head to rest.... i had the same issues with letting go of brandon... i think in this case its more guilt... for how i dumped this guy(dropped like a hot potato)... he didnt deserve it... i get this way from time to time... oh well. internal drama, i need some source of stress when i dont have ryan to bicker with from time to time :)
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Subject:i think i can, i think i can, i think i can... strangle someone now.
Time:09:56 pm
Current Mood:draineddrained
ok. so the station is doing The Little Engine That Could event now. this was the first weekned of a 2 weekned thing. fun. the one highlight is enjoying the sight of malakai playing his flute or his pan pipes, our trainsinger's son. hey i -can- look at him, can't i? he's a pretty cool guy it seems, but i really must get over this little school girl-esque crush. im not in a position to choose. thats ok though, i can look all i want, dance to his songs on the train, sing along... whatever. oh, did i mention that i have to dress up as a doll? interesting. but i suppose its fun. no one really knows that the girls that are dressed as dolls are dolls though, maybe if we had done something recognizable, like raggedy ann or something. oh well. it gives me an excuse to dance and sing along with the train singer, and not seem foolish. i look foolish enough as it is, might as well enhance the experience. fun stuff, i suppose. its nice to be on the train anyway, i get on at the end of the day, after being on my feet all day handing out tickets. whee.

so thats my weekend in a summery

also, i bought a new game, "Vampire - Ihe Masquerade: Bloodlines". i am aware this is based off a LARP, i was silly enough to buy the Book Of Nod when i was younger... i was just curious to see what it was about, looked interesting, i didnt understand its purpose then. it was a facinating read for me, and then i had met someone later who was into it, and i knew only what i had read from the book. i think he dismissed me as some sort of 'posure' at the time since i knew little about it and little about the gothic genere at the time, but hey i was 16, and just barely getting my feet wet. im still offened to this day too. lol i think its mostly because i had this silly little crush on him and he dismissed me over my lack of knowledge of Vampire - The Masquerade. pft! who needs em anyway, screw 'im! thats what i say now. i didn't understand D&D when i got here, and Ryan could care less, so whats that say about that geek-snob :)

anyway!! this game is excellent, glad i bought it, the graphics are good, and im doing well at it. its fairly easy to add points into the character sheet and mold your character as you see fit. plus you get to solicite hookers for blood and kill gang members too! (oh come now, tell me you havent wanted to do that at least once, dont lie... ok you've at least wanted to slap them, right?) In the words of Martha "Crack-Yo'-Skull-Wit-A-Rollin'-Pin" Stewart "It's a good thing."

so yeah, fun stuff, and i can play this on my other computer when ryan is home monopolizing this one, thats the best part. i didnt spend $600 on it for nothing. hurray.
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[icon] Shleichendes Gift
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